No one knows
No one knows how you feel from your perspective unless they have experienced it themselves. I thought before, “no one understands me and they don’t even want to understand”. No, that’s not the case. They just don’t understand what you feel no matter what, some might relate to your sorrow but they would never really understand your feeling because they’ve never been in your situation. When I write this, I cry knowing that I finally realize what I’ve been missing all this time. It feels like finding needle in a haystack or completing the last piece of a puzzle. All this time I thought I was lonely thinking “I might be the only one going through this sh*t” and ate my own feeling.
Believing ‘no one understands me’ and trying to understand people just so people won’t actually feel my pain, I grew up feeling hurt and also hurting people as much as they hurt me though I never intended to. I knew it wasn’t me but I couldn’t help it. I guess I fully understand it now. People hurt others so badly just because they’ve been hurt worse by other people and no one understands them or no one is in their side.
I just found this on twitter when I write this, what a coincidence!
I guess self love is my biggest problem in my life for the longest I can imagine.
I care about people more than I care about myself and it’s so sad. I hope whoever reads this, even my older self, MUST love and prioritize yourself first. All the love, support, and kindness that you’ve been giving to others, give them to yourself and let’s see what happens.
Note to self: Get well soon, like really…. soon.
